menometrorrhagia

Sorry for the long layoff. I discovered I’m not really as witty as I’d believed and had a rather long drought of post ideas. Going back to what I said this blog would really feature, here’s another vocabulary word.
Trichotillomania is:

1. A week long festival celebrating Native American culture in Trichotillo, New Mexico.
2. The uncontrollable urge to pull one’s hair.
3. A deviant sexual behavior even more fraught with comedic potential than frotteurism.
4. The Mexican wrestler Donnie Loa named his penis after.

My next post will probably come sooner than a month from now.

Which of the following images represents procidentia?*

A.

B.

C.

D.

* It should go without saying that, seeing as how I’m on Ob-Gyn right now, these quiz images are probably not work safe.

It’s been a little too long since the last vocab lesson post, so here’s a double whammy:

Tenesmus: an urgent and painful desire to defecate

Sometimes, when I hate myself more than usual, looking in the mirror evokes tenesmus.

Dysgeusia: a pathologic change in sense of taste

If I were to write a blog about pop culture trends, I would call it dYsgeUsiA. Alternatively, I have another idea. Has anyone ever done one of those deals where you get a group of people together to take turns writing a story? I’d like to have a website like that, where the story never ends and anyone can pick up the thread and tell the next part of the story. If I had a website like that I’d call it DYSGEUSIA.

I have always disliked jargon. When my mom first started working as a nurse, my younger brother and I would mock her for saying things like “I had to give all the meds on pedi.” Now, however, I find myself saying things like “One of my rocks is blowing my golden weekend because the morphine he got snowed him. Now cards won’t do his cath because he dropped his crit and GI won’t scope him because of his n-stemi. I just hope he doesn’t crump before checkout.”

The first menometrorrhagiac to successfully decode the above statement will win a Richard Gere-Special Hamster-and-Paper-Towel-Tube-Combo (hamster not included).* [Desert Boy only eligible to win for witty and/or humorous entries.]

*Requires additional purchase of paper towel tube.

Amniotic band syndrome: a set of congenital birth defects believed to be caused by entrapment of fetal parts (usually a limb or digits) in fibrous amniotic bands while in utero

The baby I saw last night most likely suffered from Amniotic Band Syndrome.

Coprolalia: the frequent, uncontrollable use of obscene language

Used in a sentence: One might be forgiven for thinking my father suffered from Tourrette’s syndrome, given his penchant for coprolalia.

Which of the following is an example of synophrys:
    A.
    B.
    C.
    D.
    E. None of the above

Here is the answer key.

Hemianopsia: blindness for one half of the field of vision;  this is not the right or left eye, but the right or left half of vision in one or both eyes.

Thanks to Dr. Unwin I will never forget that bitemporal hemianopsia is due to lesions in the visual pathway at the optic chiasm.

Today’s word is purulent.
Purulent: [L. purulentus] consisting of or containing pus; associated with the formation of or caused by pus.

Used in a sentence: “Student doctor Matt, in making your notes in the patient’s chart, you really must use purulent when describing wounds or sores containing pus. Writing about the ‘patient’s pussy wound’ is, er, ambiguous at best.”

Frotteurism:  In the context of human sexual behavior, frottage or frotteurism is the act of achieving sexual gratification by rubbing one’s (clothed or naked) body against another person. Frotteurism carries a connotation of “anonymous and discreet rubbing” in a public place—e.g. on a crowded train. The contact may be mutual or a one-way perpetration. A person who practices frotteurism is known as a frotteur. As with most other sexual practices, frottage with a non-consenting person is regarded as a form of sexual assault in most jurisdictions. A person with a devotion to frottage in a way that places him or her outside the typical frotteur is known as a frotteur geek.
Frot is a term used among homosexual men to refer to penis to penis rubbing in a conventional private context. It is also known as “phrot”, “swordfighting”, “cockrub”, “penis fencing”, “bumping dicks”, “frication” and “the Princeton rub”. Advocates of this practice represent it as a safer and more erotic alternative to anal sex.
Two people engaging in clothed frottage in a manner that simulates intercourse is known in the vernacular as “dry humping”. A modern dancing style which involves partners rubbing their clothed bodies on one another is called grinding.